Tuesday, 12 April 2011

How to Start Being Someone You Love

Sometimes, it’s difficult to be somebody that you like. Don’t we all aspire to be that girl at some point, even if only for a moment—the girl with all the It Prints, or the tearoom-themed bedroom, or that something that we’re oh-so jealous of?

It can be so easy to end up feeling unhappy with yourself in the face of all the you're-not-good-enough messages from the media. I’m sure everyone wants to change something about themselves, even if it’s only a little thing. It’s important to be somebody you like, and it’s absolutely not a bad thing to try to improve yourself! However, sometimes we can find that our envy isn’t a positive thing that drives us to do better—instead, it can bring out our ugly side.

When we find ourselves turning into somebody we dislike, we might not be able to give ourselves a full personality overhaul overnight, but there are some things we can do for ourselves…

  • Find the things that are making your thoughts unpleasant, and then cut your losses.
    It’s easy to turn into somebody you hate; I’m sure anyone participating in an online community knows that. Hiding behind the anonymity of the Internet, not to mention that you don’t have to face the people you hurt, can make it tempting to get embroiled in drama or participate in a hate community.

    When you find yourself getting into this, take a step back and stop it. Leave the community; get rid of those gossiping friends who encourage you to talk about others behind their backs. It can be hard, but you will feel better in the long run.

  • Open yourself up to positive input!
    Why not join a love community or follow a sweet blog? Even just looking around and enjoying the pretty things you see is a lovely thing to do! Look for cute things to enjoy (I recommend Icing and the Imai Kira artwork on Tumblr!).

    Look up keywords like ‘stars’ or ‘unicorns’ or ‘roses’ on an image-sharing website, listen to beautiful music, or even watch 80s cartoons or shoujo anime if you like that. (I recommend the Aria series and Kiki’s Delivery Service!)

    Don’t forget to spread positive things as well as find them, though. Not only does it make other people feel good to get a Loli Valentine or a nice comment on their outfit, it also makes you feel good to give it. Nothing beats finding out you’ve brightened someone’s day, or even motivated them out of a bad spell, just by giving them some kind words!

  • Don’t try to be somebody you’re not.
    Don’t keep yourself from enjoying things you love because they’re not what you think that the person you dream of being would like. Just because you’re a Sweeter-than-Sweet Lolita doesn’t mean you can’t listen to metal, and being a lifestyle Gothic Lolita shouldn’t stop you from enjoying adorable kitten videos on Youtube.

    Accept that there are some things you can’t change about yourself. Maybe it’s just because giving it up makes you unhappy, or simply because it’s a part of you that won’t go away. Whatever it is—the shape of your nose, perhaps, or your hair that won’t do a thing—learn how to work around it and live with it, and maybe even eventually learn to love it?

Is there any more advice you’d give? Have you had any experiences with this that you can share?

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